March 10, 2009

butterfly's shadow

Saw Apple on msn today, chatted quite a bit with her. On weddings, HDB flat application, marriage, the economics of a marriage, money and career.

She was supposed to be busy with her work. Instead, I believe I kept her busy on msn. Anyhow, she would have still looked busy to her co-workers and boss. heh heh

Talking to her made me see plenty of options, in terms of reorganising my finances. I think that's why she is an accountant and one of my best friends.

Sometimes, I feel that I'm wasting time, like I sometimes think I have been for the past 3 years. But to regain a more objective point of view, that's not all true too. Admittedly, I made choices that went against much of the common sense expected from a Singaporean university graduate. Instead of settling into a career, obtaining a permanent and stable sort of income that incremented every year, I went into reverse gear, more than once. I opted for a lifestyle that deviates from the mainstream. Aside from that to join MOE, every 'career' decision I made was based on my perceived balance between ideals and reality, work and fun, needs and wants. The end of the equation is always a delicate balance, usually at the expense of some sort of monetary stability.

Is stability boring for me? I don't think so. But I do think that my need for stability, particularly of the monetary sort, is lower than most people I know. I like to think that it's because I'm low-maintenance and I'm terribly frugal, and can be made contented with the simpler and cheaper things in life. In other words, I'm a very comfort-able person.

Everytime I feel like I'm just wasting time, being a lowly tuition teacher, wasting time doing things that a lot of my peers have gotten too busy to do, I try to remember what Gandalf said to Frodo - "All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us. There are other forces at work in this world..."

I want to plan. But the choices I made and the ones I hope to make sometimes, make a plan as fleeting as the shadow of a butterfly in the coming of spring.

That, could be the story of this blogskin.

Posted by 杏 cy （Jancy） at 12:12